The Magic Key


The year I was two was the year I spent a lot of time in the emergency room. The diagnosis, accident prone.

My mother tells me I would jump from trees, run into whatever was in my way, and was in a constant dance of play and mischief.

My mother remembers me, being two and accident prone.

I believe I was following my spirit friends.

I believe I was attuned to magical play.

I believe I was at HOME in my MAGIC.


As I grew my belief in magic waned. I felt like magic was not allowed, so at a young (too young) age I stopped playing with my spirit friends and tried hard to be normal, to fit in. And that worked, for a while. I didn’t really notice what I was missing, but my normal of not being attuned to my magic did leave me feeling lonely and with a forever urge to reach for something I was missing. This feeling also became normal.

Do you crave a new way of being in the world and in your life lessons?

The year I turned twenty is when I returned to magic. I began to shuffle possibilities and gain insight with my first deck of tarot cards. It felt like I was coming home.

I continued to play and I explored further…Aromatherapy, Chinese Massage & Acupressure, Bush Flower Essences, Oracle Cards, Reiki, Hypnosis, Past Life Regression, Meditation, and working with Spirit Guides. Magic grounded me.

Is there a moment in your life where magic turned up to play with you?

In April of 2013 my son Sage died suddenly, one month shy of his eleventh birthday. There was no warning. In a magical moment that lives deep in the night, his soul took flight.

In the days and weeks following his death I felt ungrounded, yet deeply connected to the Divine. I was alive and not sure if I wanted to be. This was no suicide plot or thoughts of harm, this was the desire to be home with my son, in spirit. By day I would miss him and by night we would play together.

Not every night, but enough times to create a pattern, I would dream of being in heaven. Sage was there, and so were others. There was music, laughter, games, and I felt connected, expansive and playful. The heaven of my dreams was indeed, exquisite and delightful.

One night while dreaming and dancing in my heaven, a friend came to visit. My friend Thomas appeared in the dream. I was delighted to see him and held out my hand to welcome him in. Thomas grabbed by hand and yanked me out of heaven. I woke with a thud.

The next day I searched, pondered and wondered why, why did I dream of being yanked away and out of heaven? It felt like there was a reason, and I was curious.  The more I searched, the more it felt elusive.

That evening while relaxing by the fire, I let go, and what I had been seeking dropped in. I was told, “You cannot stay forever in the divine. Sage’s earth lessons are complete and yours continue. You are earthbound and that is where your lessons lie.”

I never dreamt of being in heaven again. Shortly after, I sold my house, because for me it was no longer home. I wondered as I wandered, would the healing and spiritual practices I knew be enough to keep my head above water in the crashing waves of grief?

I began to spend more time in nature and in meditation, and I traveled the globe seeking experiences and teachers that could help to guide my way back home, not my spiritual home, but my earthbound home where my spirit dwelled to learn, grow, and expand. I sought out the lessons.

It took some time, many twists in the plot, and lessons learned, to find my way home, to return to my earthbound magic. I used my magic key to unlock the transformation from my big life loss to my big life magic.  I learned that LOVE is the leader, and MAGIC is my guide. And, I learned we are not meant to do this journey alone.

Being with others helped me to tune back into me and my magic

Being curious helped me to connect to my unique gifts

Being in the exploration of possibilities helped me to heal.

My attunement to magic has been my teacher, friend, challenger and counsellor.

My attunement and willingness to choose magic has created my own Big Life Magic.

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